Monday, January 25, 2010

No country for bad internet

Hubby may be having a breakdown.  As I am an expert in the subject having had many of my own, I think I see the signs.  The loss of interest in things he used to enjoy, sleeping in the middle of the day, random fits of apathy, running naked outside tearing at his hair with his penis flopping in the wind, chopping up the neighbors and stuffing their pieces down the pipe to our septic system while giggling manically.  All the signs are there.  I'm really worried about the loss of interest in things he used to enjoy.  He used to be a World of Warcraft maniac but I made him move to the boonies and now our internet is spotty at best.  It's all my fault and I am a horrible wife...when he starts looking at me and then the septic pipe I have to get clever and distract him with sugar-free low carb cookies or turkey enchilada soup or the occasional blow job.  That usually buys me some time.  Then he got sucked into twitter land but he's a political junkie and the democrats have him so frustrated now he's pulling out his hair in big chunks.  He's getting a camera for his birthday (not a surprise, he knows it...he doesn't like surprises cause he's a nutter) so in a couple of months I'm hoping photography becomes his thing so he can ignore the fast downward slide of the country and forget about World of Warcraft. 

P.S. I'm also worried about the way he disposes of bodies...I know I taught him better than that.
P.P.S.  Some of the above was an exaggeration or could be out right lie.  He would never tear at his hair...he is very vain about it.
P.P.P.S. I haven't really had that many breakdowns...that's why I'm heavily medicated to keep that from happening.

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