Sunday, February 21, 2010

Pretend judgmental people suck

I met my Hubby on the internet.  In a chatroom....I know.

"Shock!  Dismay!  How could you do that?  What if he were a serial killer?  How could he do that?  What if you were a serial killer? (and that totally could have happened..I've walked the line a time or two)"

People I meet in r/t try not to act all dismayed but I know they're thinking I'm a nut.  I can see it in their faces.  If I told them I picked him up in a bar they wouldn't think twice about it but the internet (is for porn) is bad.  How can I explain that the hours upon hours we spent chatting online before we even heard each other's voice on the phone, and the hours upon hours spent on the phone before we even saw each other in person let us know more of each other than people who have dated face to face for years?

"But he could pretend to be something he's not."

What do you think someone you meet in a bar is doing, pretend judgmental person?  We all try to put our best face forward (to fool) impress someone we meet.  However, when it's 3:00 in the morning and you're been chatting all night and you've done that for weeks straight not to mention emails composed during the day while you're supposed to be working (not that I'd ever do that) you get to know a person fairly well.  When was the last time you spent 6 hours a night every night with someone you just met in r/t?

"Well it's just not the same when you can't see their face."

I'm getting really tired of you pretend, judgmental person.  That's what webcams are for (not that Hubby and I used a webcam.  We just exchanged pictures. Back in the olden days webcams weren't so commonly used.). I fell in love with the man who was my husband before I ever saw what he looked like.  I was lurking in the chat room (because that's how I am...hiding in the bushes, peeking in the windows kind of girl) and I saw this person putting up these amazing well-written, well thought out comments.  He made everyone else in the chat room look like idiots.  I am a push over for intelligent, creative men and so I fell and fell hard.  I went into the chat room every night watching him and getting more and more smitten.  Finallly, I worked up the nerve to day something to him and he totally shot me down.  As in "Don't talk to me.  I'm too good for you," kind of way.  Did that stop me?  Oh no.

"How pathetic are you?"

Listen here, pretend judgmental person, I've about had enough of your crap.  Any way to make a long story short (too late), I saw him in another chat room using another name but his writing style was so distinctive that I knew right away it was him.  So I tried again and this time he chatted with me.  We clicked and fell in love just like I knew we would.  A lot of people in my life didn't get it because they didn't spend a lot of time online.

But if you're reading this, I think you get it.  You understand how you can connect with someone you've never met face to face and perhaps never will.  I have six people in this world that I completely trust (besides relatives).  Three of them I met online and three I met in real life.  Four of those six I've had intimate knowledge of (how's that for being and/or crushed on (mad props to Hubby, Batman, Tattooed-wonder and Guitarman) for still talking to me after seeing me at my worst).  Of the other two I talk to one regularly (Reddove) and the other I hardly ever talk to but I love with all my heart (hey Nessa, miss you).

I started blogging for lots of reasons.  I needed to write more because it is my bliss but I'm a lazy ass and I'd rather read than put forth any effort.  I wanted some kind of chronicle of my life, in case something happened to me (morbid much?)  I was also lonely.  I wanted to meet people who shared my interests.  I wanted to meet people who would get it when I quoted Monty Python or Rocky Horror.  I wanted to meet people who shared my love of Living Dead Dolls and zombies and Buffy and Shakespeare and all things Neil Gaiman and Clive Barker (except for Hellraiser...that scared me).  I wanted to meet people who understand why I spend hours reading blogs and when I find a blogger I like why I spend hours reading their archives (currently I'm hanging out at Her Bad Mother's archives).  I wanted to meet people who understand why Mr. Lady and Redneck Mommy and The Bloggess rock (Shannon, Tanis, Jenny...I am sporting such the girl-crush.  I <3 you all.).  I haven't met these people who will "get me" yet but I will.  Eventually I will be able to add more people to the list of six I currently have and those people totally won't judge me because I'm 11 years older than my husband.

"You're what?  Are you a cradle robber?"

That's it, pretend judgmental person.  You're out of here.


  1. I had to come and tell you. I adore your husband and he's one of my oldest Internet friends... Oh yes and I met the father of my children in the same chatroom I met your hubby! Oh yes and also my current love and I met online so YOU GO GIRL.

  2. Followed you over here from Jenny's comments. But not in a weird, binoculars-and-notebook, creepy stalker kind of way.

  3. Maggie Ann...he has mentioned you a time or two or three. Thank you for taking the time to comment!

  4. Dory, Thank you for stopping by. Now I'm going to cruise by your place (hides binoculars behind back).

  5. I am a little late the party here - but I met my boyfriend on an online dating site (although it hardly seems that why - and I am not going to lie to you...we lie in "the real world" to most people (not our closest friends obviously - but to family who may not understand).

    Personally, I couldn't care less how you met your hubby as long as you're all in love and shit. (also - seriously, how funny is the bloggess?)