Sunday, April 11, 2010

Murderous sports bra

Today is off to a craptacular start.  I gave Hubby night time cold medicine at 4 in the morning so he is out cold.  He used all the coffee and didn't buy more so now I'm in the middle of huge caffeine withdrawals (must have coffee!...brains!!!).  Because I drugged him he can't go buy me more coffee and I sure as heck not going out (poor planning on my part). I'm nauseous and my body hurts all over from this bug I have that just won't die.  Then to top it all off I'm looking  for clothes to get dressed and the only bra I can find that is not an underwire torture device made to push my boobs up under my chin is the bra that tried to kill me.  Granted it had reason...I'd been walking around calling it the worst sports bra ever...and it is.  Every time I bend over my boobs fall out.  It's not that it's the wrong size because I've had my boobs measured by the boob experts at Victoria's Secret and since all they do is measure boobs all day I'm sure they got the size right.  I think the problem is I bought the bra at Target's poorer redneck cousin (which I won't name because I don't want their thugs coming after me....I live in a constant state of fear).  Well you get what you pay for and I definitely did.  So one day Hubby and I were watching House and on this episode this woman dies because her bra hook scratched her back.  Well apparently this gave the worst sports bra ever ideas.  A couple of days later I felt a pain on my back and I had Hubby take a look and I had not one but two holes dug in my back from the bra hook.  Of course, I panicked and started writing my eulogy.  Hubby cleaned the wounds and they healed fine but it was close call.  I never would have even known such an injury could kill me if it wasn't for House.  TV is such a great teacher.

I know you're wondering why I still have the murderous sports bra.  I just hate to get rid of anything and its really comfortable as long as I don't bend in the middle.
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  1. Every house needs an Emergency Caffeine Supply. I have a tin of gross instant coffee, plus a container of chocolate covered espresso beans. Both are blicky, but any port in a storm.

  2. I thought I was covered. The last time I made coffee it was a full bag. Apparently he's been mainlining it while I was at work.