The greatest woman I know

Today is my mom's birthday.  She married right out of high school to her high school sweetheart of course.  She is incredibly smart and she wanted to be a teacher but she never went to college.  She had me a year after they got married and my sister C a year after that and my sister R three years after that.  She never worked outside the home except for a period of six months when she worked in a nursing home while my dad was laid off.  I'm not going to say she never worked because raising our family was hard work.  I didn't realize it then but I sure know it now.  She was wildly imaginative and we grew up with stories and fun play and Monty Python (thank you so much for my love of British tv) and singing crazy songs.  Even though we didn't have much money we had a happy childhood.  I know she had to push herself to give us this because the women in our family suffer from a genetic depressive disorder (which we only figured out when I was hospitalized for losing it) so she worked her ass off to make us happy when she was feeling miserable.   She is the most amazing woman.  She is the ultimate Nana to her grandchildren and great grandchildren and they love her like crazy.  She is supportive and caring and loving even if she doesn't agree with whatever is going on.   I am so honored to know her and to call her Mom.  I love you so much Mom.  Thank you for everything.  Happy Birthday!

And for my next trick I shall make a baby appear in this box...TA DAH!

Random not so epic fails because I might possibly be a dumbass

My day so far:

Stupid alarm went off at 3:30 because of instead of just putting my ipod on it to charge I turned the alarm on...on my one day to sleep late (dumbass fail).  Turned off Lily Allen singing "Fuck you" and went back to sleep (alarm fail).
Woke up at 5 with uber headache because I had the electric heater turned up too high (dumbass fail again), took excedrin crawled back into bed and downloaded apps on my ipod touch.
 Got up at 6 and peed on stick...not pregnant (stupid pregnancy test fail).
Crawled back in bed and read twitter on blackberry.
Got up and took shower.
Mistook face cleanser for conditioner (shower fail)
Tried on new pilates outfit (looked good) felt urge to workout...wrestled that urge to the ground and choked the shit out of it.
Got on new laptop and read blogs.  Which is where I am now minus the low blood sugar attack that had me in bed for another 45 minutes.
Today our plans are...replace old computer desk with new one (finally).  Go to Trader Joe's for first time (I'm way too excited about going to a grocery store) and go see Alice in Wonderland.  We can't go anywhere however until the gas man comes.  We ran out of gas last night (again...dumbass fail because we never remember to check the gas) so we had to heat the house with little electric heaters.  So the house is a little cold right now...not freezing but a tad uncomfortable.  If he doesn't show up until later we won't get to do anything but the desk part.  My new oven arrives tomorrow which I'm totally excited about because the one we have now is a piece of crap.  Of course it's a gas oven so until the gas man comes it will just be a large, shiny paperweight.

Update:
Gas man didn't come so no Trader Joe's or Alice or dinner out.  Stupid, stupid gas man...stupid, stupid us for heating with gas...

I did not know that Lily Allen and Courtney Love were feuding (color me clueless and not really caring but in case you do the link is below).

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What the heck?